5 Things Girlfriends Don't Want to Understand

Is a list our style? No! It's not, but everything in moderation. This post is a response to a list retweeted by Project Bluebird titled '11 Things Boyfriends Don't Understand'. We believe that it is just as important to recognize what their counterparts don't understand. If you want to read that, here it is '10 Things You Chicks Should Really Understand about Us Guys'.

Great...now that you have read those two, let's peel back one more layer and talk about what girlfriends don't want to understand.

Don't worry ladies, we'll talk about the flip side to this story in a future post. Sometimes, even when all the evidence is there, men and women just can't accept it. When you accept a reality, you're obliged to do something about it and that can be very difficult. Let's do it.

1. He looks at other women...and some of them turn him on.

How many times have you caught him looking? A few? Just once? Never? In all likelihood you catch a very small amount of it. Sometimes when he looks at these women, a few flashes of sexual fantasy run through his head. Sometimes these flashes become thoughts that can last, but most of the time they fizzle away into nothingness and the day moves on.

Not to worry! That same sexual drive which turns his head, keeps your sex life alive and well. Think about the alternative. Would you want a man who didn't have reproductive drive? Moreover, would you be together if you didn't turn his head just like the rest of them? We're not advocating that he can check out whoever, wherever, whenever, however. It's your job to let him know his boundaries. Just hang on loosely.

2. He May Not Be Ready For You.

Has he really finished "sewing his oats"? Maybe...but maybe not. The unfortunate reality is that he probably doesn't know the answer to this himself. It's often pegged as a maturity issue and that may be true. However it may be that he just hasn't had enough experience to know what he really wants.

Men hear all those over simplified philosophies about "the right one". His mom says that he should find someone who is what he isn't; a woman who will make him stronger. That makes sense until he spends a year in denial, dating a woman he has nothing in common with. Then Uncle Eddy looks him square in the eye and says the secret to happiness is a woman who knows how to cook AND how to change a tire. Then your would-be boyfriend blew three years of his life holding together a failing relationship with some big breasted chef whose brothers are car mechanics.

That's the kind of crazy shit a guy goes through in life before he finally figures out what he really wants. Some men never figure it out. You need clarity of mind to discern this and the courage to walk away if you don't like what you find.

3. He Needs Time Alone.

Every many is different. Some need more time than others and the sooner you know how much, the better. Men need time to reflect. Many relationships come to a screeching and painful halt because he feels smothered. Once he gets that space, he often wants her back. Have you been in one of those wonderful boomerang relationships? You break up, you get back together, things get hot and heavy, the smothering kicks in and it falls apart again. If you haven't been in one, you probably know someone who has. This rollercoaster of emotion can often be avoided if you pull yourself away and give him time to reflect.

4. His Life Might Not Have Been A Wreck Before You Came In To It.

Remember the first time you saw his bachelor pad? Women tend to burn this memory into their brains to reinforce their own necessity. He probably remembers that den of filth with fondness. Sure he didn't own a vacuum and his drapes were made of old linens and masking tape, but they did the job. For some crazy reason, you seem to care about these things much more than the plastered college girls did.

That bachelor pad isn't ammunition during an argument, but you've probably tried to play that card. Remember when you told him that without you he'd still be sleeping on that torn up sofa he left on his porch all winter?

You thought: "I bet my taste in furniture doesn't seem so bad now...".

He was thinking: "damn I miss that couch".

5. He Might Be Bisexual.

It's funny how geographically variable this argument can get. Just because your man is a southern boy with a REDNECK sticker on the back of his GM pickup, doesn't mean he isn't checking out other dudes. It may mean that he will never tell you, but that's about it.

Guess what, it's no big deal. For some women it's hard to not subconsciously attach their boyfriends with everything masculine. It gives them a sense of security among many other things. However, you don't choose which direction your sex drive points in. Should you call him out on it if you suspect? That's up to you. He might just be gay all together and you are his cover, but that's a whole different blog.

We hope this was a bit of good sense. Blunt...but still good sense. Follow the Bluebird!