Backburners and booty calls
The definition of a backburner is defined in
the-psychology-of-backburner-relationships
as “A person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement”
Backburners are that sorted lot of sexually available yet socially expendable acquaintances reserved for drunken “booty calls” and #sexysunday adventures. Some people hate being them, some people wish they had more, and some people would be grateful to get that phone call at 1am.
To clarify any confusion, one of the reasons that we call our thirty-five millimeter social experiment “Project Bluebird” is because there are some remarkable similarities between the social dynamics and mating habits of bluebirds, and those of man. Also, it is helpful to use these beautiful creatures to discuss social phenomena because it softens the sting of offense and avoids petty arguments. So as is our charge, let’s explore what biological utility “backburners” have – using bluebirds, and a little humor.
While identifying with only one male, female bluebirds often have nests which contain offspring from “backburners”. The female socially mates with these wayward males because they often possess traits that are desirable, like vivid coloration, a particularly enticing call, or a rapist wit. When she mates with these males, her offspring often acquire these traits. However these males either do not themselves have an established territory, or they lack any of a variety of traits which would offer her children higher survival probability than her current “main squeeze”.
So what does this mean from a human standpoint? If you’re a man, relax, just because you aren’t “the whole package” doesn’t mean you can’t seal the deal. Don’t lose confidence in yourself, we all have faults and we’re seldom exactly where we want to be in life. Take the back burner approach, enjoy your freedom, and save the heavy stuff for when you’re ready to settle down and find a “territory”. If you’re a woman, have the confidence that you can put any man on the backburner until you’re ready for something more.
Lastly, for men and women, if you are getting that call at 1am, don’t take offense. It’s a compliment. If it’s not welcome, or you feel like you’re being used: drop that sucka’ like a rotten egg.